You're now completely prepared for October 5.
Windows 11 is an upcoming release of Microsoft's flagship operating system and the successor to Windows 10.
Read nowYou've researched whether your computer will be compatible. If it isn't (officially), you'll have tried to find some clever way around it, courtesy of a sinisterly cheery presenter on YouTube.
When Windows 11 is freely available, you'll be among the first to experience it in real time.
But do you really know all that you should about Microsoft's new software? Really?
Please come with me, as I relay some of Redmond's most potent revelations, ones that may change the way you look at your world.
In a video that quietly slipped out last month, Microsoft tried to offer the artistic, philosophical underpinning of the software you'll soon be looking at every day of your life.
In the first few seconds, I learned that the new Windows logo will be "one of the most visible visuals in the world." It's right up there, presumably, with the McDonald's arches and the unforgettable shape of Jeff Bezos's rocket.
I also learned that Windows needed "new life." Somehow, the old Windows was looking as if it was nearing death's door.
A man described in the video as "Vincent, Brand Manager" -- who bears a startling resemblance to Vincent Joris, strategy director at ad agency Wunderman Thompson, Antwerp -- explained his team's onerous task like this: "Making sure that when people look at it, they're like, 'yeah, I like it' and 'yeah, that's Windows'."
The task? No, not creating better software, but giving Windows 11 a (slightly) different look.
The resulting wallpaper was, indeed, pretty. Blooming pretty, as a Brit might say.
Please, though, gird yourself for the deeper meaning of it all, as explained by Microsoft creative director Christina Koehn: "I love the final bloom that we went with because you can shift it and turn it, and to me that represents the diversity of the people who use Windows."
Creative people talk like that. They really do. And when they do, you learn new things.
Here's more Christina: "The change in the logo should also reflect the change in the product."
Does that mean it should reflect that many computers will not to able to use it? Please, don't be so cynical. This is all about the logo, the signature, the thing that tells people who you now are.
Windows is changing. For example, this eleventh version now enjoys more Xbox technology and Teams, too.
Vincent revealed how the team reflected this change: "We looked at the Microsoft logo and turned it blue."
So there I learned that turning blue can actually signify you coming to life, rather than, well, being close to death.
"Wait," I hear you gruff. "Microsoft's logo was lovely and colorful before and now it's gone monochrome? How is that making the product feel more exciting? Blue literally means miserable."
Well, replies Vincent, blue is "the color most people associate with Windows."
To which Christina adds: "We've got these four squares. They represent Microsoft. They represent Windows. They represent Surface." What do you mean "what's the fourth square?"
And then, the overarching concept: "We're moving from a house of brands to a branded house."
So now you know. This is how you must think whenever you set eyes on Windows 11. You're entering a glorious branded house.
For Vincent, this is "a small change in shape, but a big change in meaning."
How could one argue?